Disney Marathon...just a bump in the road

Anyway, it took my a couple of days to gather my thoughts about this race/run/walk/crawl.  I was initially very apprehensive about the distance.  I had done 18 miles...but they were super painful miles and to tell you the truth, I was scared of this distance......I didn't really know if I was gonna make it..but I DID know that I'm not a quitter and I would crawl to the end....but...I didn't want too...  I had a plan to walk/run with Leanne and Judy Layne.  During our training runs, though, it was cold, cold, cold and my hamstring would start cramping and shortening to the point of changing my gait.  I was being dropped by them at mile 10, then mile 12....I still managed to get the miles done.  But I was scared that I could not...would not be able to do the full 26.2.

So..after the race was over, I was initially very disappointed in the outcome.  Yes, I finished 26.2 miles...but my time was no where near what I wanted or thought it would be.  I was plagued in the first 13 miles by severe GI distress...and this distressed me even more because for 6 months now..since changing my hydration to Infinite and then going Gluten free in August, I have had ZERO GI trouble on any bike, run or race.  I spent the second 13.1 miles trying to rehydrate.

And then...I remembered, that I freaking finished 26.2 miles!!!  Somehow I have GOT to get out of my own head and be happy for my victories.  2 years ago I could not run one lap around the track.  Running has NEVER been something that I was good at or even enjoyed...Over the past 4 months of training, I began to see how "doing the program" really helped me to improve...and I began to enjoy 3 miles, then 5 miles, then 10 miles..and I was finding that 13 miles was "relatively" easy....and I could push myself to do 14, 16 and 18 miles....THIS is something that I NEVER thought I would be able to do or enjoy.  Now, I'm slow...actually slower than slow....and I have to admit that when I saw the old man with the rolling walker ahead of me in the marathon I thought, "I'll be damned if I'm gonna let HIM  beat me to the finish line" In case you were wondering...I passed him.

Every race I learn a bit about myself even if its what I need to "figure' out.  As I journey to Ironman, I still need to figure out what to eat, how to eat...and for God's sake...not to worry about the calories as I'm out there expending them!

I have learned that I'm a fighter and I have a hard head...I don't give up easily....even when, well, maybe I should....

Ryan asked me tonight if doing this marathon made IM training harder or easier....I supposed... a little of both.  At least I know that I can DO the distance...but I have much to work on. Initially I thought I would never do another marathon...but I have a score to settle..if only with myself.  When I crossed the finish line I wondered how I would ever do this after a 2.4 miles swim and 112 mile bike...but I think I can...NO, I know I can...if I put in the work..It may not be fast and it probably won't be pretty...but I will do my best..and that's all I can ask of myself.  And as long as I am under that 17 hr cut off, I will crawl across that finish line.

Here's to training....here's to getting out of my own defeatest head... HERE'S TO THE JOURNEY!